Tall Noob Man

The pitch

Tall Noob Man is a 3D hyper-casual runner where a blocky hero stretches taller and wider through number gates. Smash through ram blocks that cost height, dodge saws, hammers, boxing gloves and bowling balls, and finish every level with a physics boss fight in a boxing ring: tap to punch, swipe to dodge, knock the boss into a pile of crates. Unlock outfits, faces, hats, trails and pets, claim daily gifts and spin the wheel.

Controls & how it runs

Drag left and right (or use A/D or the arrow keys) to steer. Run through blue and purple gates to grow taller, green gates to get wider, and avoid red ones. Every ram block takes away the height written on it, so pick the weaker one. At the finish, fight the boss: tap or press Space to punch, swipe or press A/D to hop back from his wind-up punch. Knock him out to win coins and upgrade your start height and income.

Getting a run going takes exactly one press: Press start, up top, and the game boots inside this page — nothing downloads in the background and no form wants your details before the first jump. The cabinet is drawn for a flexible screen and listens to mouse, keyboard or touch, whichever the game prefers. It reshapes itself for tall and wide screens alike, so phone, tablet and desktop all get the full picture. Given a fullscreen button, use it — scores look better at full size, that's just science.

Pro tips for arcade cabinets

• Treat your first run as a scouting mission. Arcade cabinets hide their cruelty in the second minute, not the first — learn where the difficulty spikes before you start chasing numbers.
• Small scores compound. Grab the easy pickups on every pass instead of gambling the whole run on one heroic line; heroes respawn, banked points don't evaporate.
• Watch the edges of the screen. In classic arcade design the next problem almost always enters from somewhere you weren't looking — build the habit of scanning the borders.

Tall Noob Man — quick-fire questions

Does Tall Noob Man cost anything to play?

Not a token. The cabinet is free from the first run to the five-hundredth — no wallet, no sign-up, no toll booth hiding three levels in. The adverts around the page are what keep the floor's lights on.

What sort of game is Tall Noob Man?

It stands on our Arcade row — that's the family it plays most like. The pitch above is the publisher's own rundown of what it throws at you and what it hands back.

Can I play Tall Noob Man on my phone?

Happily, yes. It runs inside the browser on phones and tablets the same way it does on a computer. It reshapes itself for tall and wide screens alike, so phone, tablet and desktop all get the full picture.

Do I need to install anything first?

Nothing whatsoever. Tall Noob Man is an HTML5 game: hit the start button and it boots on this page, and shutting the tab sweeps the cabinet clean behind you.

Before you wander off

Personal best banked, or still chasing it? Either way the full Arcade row is powered on and waiting — The main floor: 415 cabinets of pure arcade stock — the quick, the loud and the gloriously unfair. If it beeps, flashes and dares you to beat a number, it lives on this row.