Warm-Up Laps: Cabinets That Take Five Minutes to Love

Every regular on this floor has an opener — the cabinet they play before the real session starts, the one that wakes the hands up. This playlist collects ours. The rule for entry was strict: a game had to be fully itself within five minutes, no tutorial swamp, no twenty-minute runway before the fun clocks in. If a title needed longer than that to show its hand, it didn't make the warm-up list, however good it gets later.

Start at the front if you're new: the geometry sprinters teach this site's whole religion — one button, total concentration, immediate rematch — in about ninety seconds each. Further down sit the chaos agents, games whose physics writes comedy whether you cooperate or not. Everything here is free, everything runs in the tab you're reading, and every entry is a legitimate way to lose track of a coffee going cold.